Breaking the vicious cycles of boom and bust?

The oppressor becomes the oppressed. The oppressed becomes the oppressor. OR put more simply: the bully will eventually become the smallest kid in the class. The smallest kid in the class will become the bully eventually.

It struck a chord when I came across this idea in The Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire, a well-known Brazilian born educator and theorist whom I am a fan of.

Amongst religions, races, castes, ethnicities, genders, sexualities, political parties, and on and on – we work towards an idea of freedom, equity and power (let’s be real) only to impose that “power” on someone else. Even and especially without realizing it. In my opinion, we never truly understand what it means to be free. So the cycle continues across the globe and history.

For all of the example categories of separation, that divide us mentioned above, people feel like they are justified and are geared up to vehemently defend their rights. But what happens when we explore the category of age?

If you are older, you were once young. If you are young (sorry to burst your bubble) but it’s only a matter of time friend, until you are considered older (by others of course!). What happens then?

A recent conversation that I had with someone that included: “This was before you time, so you probably haven’t heard of it…,” got me thinking about this issue. If this wasn’t in a professional context I might not have cared. But since my value/role in the conversation diminished after that comment, it got me thinking…

It got me thinking about quite a few past experiences where my elders in a work, academic and personal environment have written me off because I’m “too young.” On the other end: MTV-culture; certain friends, family and others make it clear that I’m not getting any younger, especially after the big 3-0! I'm sure I'm guilty of quite a few age-ist comments on either side myself.

In essence – it seems we have a societal culture where the more experienced generations (better word? J ) antagonize the younger generation and they in turn, disregard, undervalue and even neglect their elders when the ball is in their court.

Does this make sense especially given that we will be both young and old through the course of our lives?! It doesn’t to me. We are on the same damn continuum! It’s kind of ridiculous. So my next question is, can we actually break cycles like this?

I am not sure of the answer here, and would love to hear what you all think. I could say that this is just how things are and accept it, but er, well, uhh,…that didn’t work!

Something tells me that there is a common thread here that might involve an incredibly difficult but worthy leap of faith in ourselves and in others. But where do we start?

Until then, I guess it’s a fight to the finish - literally!

Taking a Reflective Moment

Muir Woods National Monument, CA

"Watch an animal, a flower, a tree, and see how it rests in Being. It is itself. It has enormous dignity, innocence, and holiness. However, for you to see that, you need to go beyond the mental habit of naming and labeling. The moment you look beyond labels, you feel that ineffable dimension of nature that cannot be understood by thought or perceived through the senses. It is a harmony, a sacredness that permeates not only the whole of nature but it is also within you."

- taken from Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle

Nuff said until next time....

My Tribute to the Chinatown Buses and to all those who love them...

A mix of nausea and frivolity inspired this tribute to the genre of buses commonly referred to as “the Chinatown bus.”

Here’s to the Chinatown Bus!

Nothing compares to you O’ Chinatown Bus!
With names* like Zenith, Sunshine, Happy Moon Star, 6th Century, North-Southern,
You are the gotobus!

So highly coveted,
We scramble to elbow through confused mobs,
We play nice with frighteningly unhelpful staff,
We allow unauthorized “Baggage Handlers” (ie. random people hanging around) to rip us off,
Just to be in your presence.

“Furry” seats with vibrant colors set in a gray backdrop,
A thoughtful touch of plastic bags dangling from the seat arm for unwanted crap,
Speaking of crap, a delicate aroma creeping forward from the rear,
You delight the senses.

You offer the thrill, the adventure of the unknown:
Are you structurally sound? Will we be pulled over?
Will I suffer from hypothermia or hot flashes on this journey?
Does your driver have a valid license?
The unnerving uncertainly heightens your charm.

Lest we forget,
Your welcoming spirit to the fondue/melting pot that is America.
All ages, ethnicities, religions, configurations,
From rookie international travelers asking repeatedly if they are on the right bus,
To seasoned regulars asking repeatedly if they are on the right bus,
To those you have left during a 10-minute (which to you = 4.5 minutes) break at a rest area,
You are the great equalizer.

So to those that reject, ridicule and/or despise you and the experience, I say:
It’s less than 30 bucks so grab a furry seat!
The Bolt Bus may try, but will never reach your dirty but lofty heights!

*names were falsified to protect identity and for dramatic effect

To Profit or To Non-Profit?

So far, I’ve dabbled in the govt., non-profit, and unemployment sectors. Each has its unique nuances. But until recently, I thought I would be lingering longer in the non-profit world. Now, I’m thinking that maybe I should explore new territory? How you doin' private sector? But should I?

Some say, this line of reflective questioning, “soul searching,” is inevitable. It’s only a matter of time until I start thinking less idealistically and begin voting like a radical, gun-touting, conservative.

Is it just the natural progression of life? The more I think about it, a better question might be: Is there a non-compromising alternative for smart, social-change minded folks out there?

I explore these questions and frustrations not only for myself, but for other friends and readers out there who have found that they struggle with the same dilemma.

The story goes something like:

• I CAN CHANGE THE WORLD DAMMIT - We get out of school with: bright-eyes, fresh new ideas, and ready to change the world for the better! Bring it on!!
• I AM WORTHY! - Unless we have a great network, and/or are extremely aggressive (which Asian families don’t socialize you to be), we struggle but end up finding something because…hello….we have a lot to contribute.
• THE BUBBLE BURSTS - Thrilled to be launching a career to make the world just a little bit better, we realize that the non-profit world is not as open and accommodating as we falsely imagined.
• THE DARK SIDE - There are office politics, inefficiencies in management and leadership, and of course, we are too young and inexperienced to be taken seriously and given a chance to bring our strengths to the table. Maybe next year…
• THE DARKER SIDE - What’s more, we realize that very often, non-profit orgs are not really determined to fulfill their selfless mission and put themselves out of business. Many would rather not put ourselves out of a job and hand over the work to the community. But instead we want to stay important and valued and talk about sustainability and expansion when it would be more “self-less” to move onto something else and let people take ownership over the work, and their own lives and livelihoods.
• LIFE IS TOO SHORT -Months, years pass. We are not in our twenties anymore. Enter the cynicism and bitterness (ha, can you tell?).
• WHAT ARE WE DOING? We start thinking about our lives, and how our other friends who weren’t as “altruistic“ as us, are making enough money to actually survive without help and enjoy other parts of life, and we continue to toil in a field that we have less and less faith in.
• CASTING THE FIRST STONE - We stop judging other friends for being less altruistic and realize that at least they were being true to themselves from the get-go unlike many non-profit leaders. And they have money to travel!
• KEEPING US DOWN - Attempts to transition to something more challenging are met with: “You don’t have 30 years of experience abroad,” or “You don’t have 10 years of management experience or you cannot speak 5 different languages.”
• KEEPING US DOWN -RESPONSE (that you never actually say aloud): Sorry that I’m not yet 70 years old to justify the required years of experience, and was not lucky enough to be able to afford years of international experience (ie. travelling abroad) while paying off student loans….
• ASIDE: If you want to be amused, please visit a great non-profit job site like: Idealist and observe some of the starting salaries that are offered. Sadly, it isn’t a joke.
• DESPERATION -We get desperate and apply for jobs we are overqualified for. We are rejected because we are overqualified.
• RECAP: If we do not “sell-out” in some way or the other, we are not getting paid enough to live, we do not enjoy our jobs because our strengths and interests are not being engaged AND the economy stinks and even otherwise, without a personal connection, we are not getting opportunities for growth.

WHAT TO DO?

OPTION 1- Stay in the non-profit field, in your job, becoming more dissatisfied and unpleasant to others, hoping you will stumble upon something new and amazing…

OPTION 2 – Stop to re-assess if this is what you are meant to be doing as a job. And if not, figure out what to do about it.

OPTION 3 - ????

What do you think? Especially, in light of my rant? Seek professional help? J

For now, I think I will certainly explore other options although I don’t know if I will ever be ready to join the mobs attacking town-hall meetings on health care.

And because I am still not ready to see things without a silver lining, I am grateful to my non-profit world experiences for cultivating my strength to explore these difficult life questions and lessons. Seriously. They say the best insights into life and happiness are gained that way. I hope THEY are right...

He Had that Something...

I am a fan of MJ. I would not consider myself a die-hard fan but I am a fan. Since my younger years, his music moved me and his movements and sense of rhythm were awe-inspiring. At that age, we just called that: cool.

Though I mourned the loss of a great like Michael Jackson. I didn’t think I would be that emotionally affected like the scores of fans that were devastated enough to wail in such sorrow and anguish.

Yet I became surprisingly overwhelmed by a sense of something that I can’t completely articulate upon seeing this icon known as Michael Jackson be remembered, honored, cherished, loved in the very public memorial service in Los Angeles that was re-broadcasted on BET. Maya Angelou said it best through her words read aloud by Queen Latifah.

Yes, it was a lot of hype.

Yes, the same press that spent years harassing, ridiculing, and chastising MJ was in some ways yet again, capitalizing... But this time on his death.

Yes, over the years, that same media and a likely reality, exposed a darker side of Michael Jackson in his questionable decisions, and his relationship with children. I don’t think anyone can deny that he was troubled in many very apparent ways.

But watching his video clips, pictures, reflections of him by his admirers, friends and family, made it clear that no one can deny his genius, his magic.

What is this “magic,” that special something? I had a very knowing sensation in me as I was watching Michael’s growth from young to older during the broadcast. It is the same feeling that I get when I experience other brilliant dancers, musicians, athletes, and artists. It is the glimpse of God in them that gives me this feeling. I know God is an extremely loaded word but here I mean: a higher consciousness, something of God or however you want to phrase it. Basically, I mean something special, which logic and the mind cannot easily explain away. Something that, if you quiet your mind……………………..you will recognize without realizing.

Micheal had that something that cannot be explained. In his songs, dance, words, eyes, body, being. And if you think of it that way, it is really easy to understand how we as humans responded to him. Some of us worshipped him like an idol. Why? Because we saw that something in him and we worshipped that something. Some of us deemed him creepy, a pedophile, screwed up, cheesy, over-hyped, ugly. Why? Because we could not see, we did not recognize, or were too afraid to see that something in him. There is no wrong or right in that. Really, it is what it is. It has happened time immemorial to individuals that burst into our world living by something other than the status quo. For better or for worse.

In my case, I felt something very heartening in accepting the feeling that I told you I could not articulate. I still can’t do that something justice. But I can tell you that it was beautiful and I whole heartedly agree that something indescribably amazing has passed on with MJ. It is my hope that I will see that greatness manifest itself in another beautiful form in this lifetime. So our children can be inspired and fall in love with that something again. I have no doubt that we will.

The Evolution Continues.....

So I don’t know if my zodiac sign has anything to do with it, but in recent weeks I have been feeling limited by the topic I chose for this blog. I am still nourished by stories and experiences that inspire and I will share them as they come along and I welcome you to share them on this blog also (just drop me a line so I can add you as a contributor). But I don’t want to limit myself. I don’t want to limit you either.

I had quite a few entertaining internal debates about this. Oh no, I’m directly undermining the advice of blog gurus about staying focused on one topic! Woe is me, no one will ever pay me a bajillion dollars for my blog or my articles or my soul. Darnit, I might not be deemed an “expert” on a particular topic and invited to blog the world over! And then I stopped to realize that for the time being….I don’t care! That doesn’t mean that I won’t regret my decision and throw myself into a puddle of non-alcoholic champagne. But for now, I’m good.

So as the evolution continues, you might see posts about: funny incidents, which you don’t find funny; reflections on a particular topic; or an inspiring quote that I came across, and/or many other options. Why you ask? I guess because I’ve never been the type to see through one lens or believe in defining myself by one major, specialty, or view of life. I’m giving myself permission to think that, contrary to practical and worldly advice.

The world is my oyster. Or rather, for now, this blog is my oyster. Even though I don’t eat seafood right now. And it’s yours too when you are ready. For now, wish me luck and stay tuned!

Where's the fire?

Have you ever been in one of those rough patches where you feel like you can’t accomplish anything if you don’t move a mile a minute and let it consume you?  In those moments, there is nothing like having people and experiences come into your life to remind you of the value and beauty of taking things slow.  To take time to take in the moment.  That lesson was brought home to me this past week.

I finally stopped making excuses for myself and decided to try out a Tai-Chi class, which incidentally is something I wanted to try.  It was an added incentive that the first class was free.   I didn’t do my homework to learn more about the form before class. I just jumped in hoping that it would give me the peace reflected in the slow movements I had seen others doing in the park, public television and elsewhere.  Dana Schlesinger, the instructor, originally from Israel, demonstrated that: 1) It’s not as simple as it looks and 2) There is more to Tai-Chi than it’s pace.  Tai-Chi Chuan as it is more formally called which translates to “supreme ultimate fist,” is an ancient Chinese martial art that incorporates slow movements to enable one’s internal energy to flow smoothly and with training and discipline would allow one to deflect an opponent’s energy rather than reply by force.   At the same time, I learned that it’s not enough to mimic the movements.  You really have to listen, become attune to the moment, your movements, and LET GO of various tensions in the body and mind to get it right.  By the end, of the session, I felt like jello in a really good way. 

I have no idea how Dana ranks as a Tai-Chi teacher but she seemed to embody the approach in her person.  I eventually asked the dumb over-anxious American question of if she had ever used her training to defend herself? Before she replied, I imagined an elaborate street battle where she is fending off five opponents with one graceful swipe of the hand.  She said that she tries to integrate her training in every aspect of her life from opening the door without the use of tension and force, to lifting her child, to a more conscious way of speaking with me.  That sounded amazing.  How wonderful would it be to approach every aspect of life without force and tension, but just go with the flow of the waters? Better than a street battle. I couldn’t help but pay for my first class and slow down to a stroll as I headed back to the car…